Chinese In North America(北美华人e网)

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1#

我的新作,有什么想法没,对我写的英文,或这个故事?

A night a guy was walking on a road and heard someone crying,by the dim light of moon he saw a little girl was crouching at aside of road ahead,so the guy quickened his step and standed in front of the girl,''What happened?sweetie.''


''I lost my way home,i want mammy.''The girl sobbed burying her face in her arms with a braid on her back side of head.


''Could you rise?Let me help you find your home.''asked the guy.


''Of course.''The girl rised and raised her head to the guy.


''ugh!''The guy gave a shiver as he looked at another back side of head with a braid on it.

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2#

standed很新颖
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3#

这不就是国内流行的鬼段子之一(正面背面都是辫子的女鬼),翻了个英文么?


A night a guy was walking on a road and heard someone crying,by the dim light of moon he saw a little girl was crouching at aside of road ahead,so the guy quickened his step and standed in front of the girl,''What happened?sweetie.''
''I lost my way home,i want mammy.''The girl sobbed burying her face in her arms with a braid on her back side of head.
''Could you rise?Let me help you find your home.''asked the guy.
''Of course.''The girl rised and raised her head to the guy.
''ugh!''The guy gave a shiver as he looked at another back side of head with a braid on it.

吉木春 发表于 4/28/2020 1:40:00 AM 我的新作,有什么想法没,对我写的英文,或这个故事?-3楼

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4#

回复 2楼elladuan的帖子

谢谢elladuan老师的指导。刚开始以为您说的是这个动词用的不合适,想了下确实不合适,当时混淆中文写英文所以那样写了,站在她面前,按字面来写英文了,经常由于这样出错,需要锻炼以纯英文的模式写作只要懂中文意思就行,而不是按字面来,那样很容易出错。最后发现这个stand的过去式也写错了,不知道您说的是不是这个。其实那里应该用stoped。

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5#

回复 3楼incognita的帖子

对,我最近还翻了下面这篇,你看过没?


A doctor was going home after work was done.In the elevator he saw a charming nurse and pressed the light of ground floor button on.Weirdly the elevator didn't stop when it reached the ground and kept moving down until to the third floor of basement.The door opens,a granny was standing there .The doctor rushed to press the door close button,then the elevator moved on.


''Why did you not let her in?'' The nurse asked with frown on her face.


''Oh my god,She had the morgue's dead body identification tag on her wrist!''Answered the doctor in horror.


''What's wrong with that?''The nurse frowned more tightly.


''What do you mean what's wrong with that?She is a freaking dead body!''


''Oh please~,why are you being so stimulated?I have it too.''The nurse pulled up her sleeve and raised the wrist to the doctor and with a enigmatic smile on her face.


''OH FUCK!''The doctor's eyes gleamed in cold.

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6#

A few more grammar problems - just my opinion

"One night" NOT "A night",  
"at roadside" NOT "at aside of road",
"his steps" NOT "his step",
"on the back side of her head" NOT "her back side of head"
"rose" NOT "rised"
"shivered" NOT "gave a shiver"
"another back side of head with a braid on it" THIS IS CONFUSING, do you mean "the other backside of her head with a braid on it"?
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7#

回复 6楼pilingjushi的帖子

非常感谢pilingjushi老师的指导!那个改成 at side of the road,那个step不加s,我只是在说脚步这个名词,而不是在说当时他踏的那些脚步,那里用shivered也可以了,但是用gave a shiver也没问题吧,我当时是查字典看到的,而且表达出他只是颤抖一下,是我原来的意思,而用shivered感觉那个颤抖延续一些时间的,我把字典贴上来您看看,还请多指教。我的新作,有什么想法没,对我写的英文,或这个故事?-7楼

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8#

回复 6楼pilingjushi的帖子

还有最后那里用 another back side of her head with a braid on it.怎么样?我感觉用the other不太恰当。

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